Did Jesus Have a Wife?

                                       Take My Wife....Please!!

It has been just been translated from ancient scripts that Jesus mentioned his wife.  Now, it is up for debate.

If so, did Jesus make mother-in-law jokes? 

Did Jesus and his wife have a big wedding or did they elope?  Did he settle down after he married?  Did someone throw him a "7 Veils" bachelor party?  Did he tell mother-in-law jokes and if so, did he end say "seriously folks.." before he started preacher the Holy word?